I don’t speak of my guru, largely due to my feelings of inadequacy when it comes to my practice of Ashtanga yoga. Ashtanga, for me is the proverbial ever-expanding universe of, the more I learn, the more I realize is out there.
What I remember, is that evolution has its ebb and flow, but we do evolve regardless. I am grateful for the opportunity to evolve consciously. If I am moving ultimately forward, I am not moving backwards. I am ok. Wherever I am in my practice, is where I am. It is that beautifully simple, and not.
I struggle to put into words my thoughts of how I practice – that place of singularity, focus, oneness, and why I crave that time and space. I wonder why I am afraid to allow myself to practice more than the primary series at this point. Why did I choose to, as the world might perceive, go backwards? After all, it is I whom grounded myself from a deeper practice, not my guru. Am I stuck? Did I do the right thing? Is it possible for this to be ok, and not all? Simultaneously, can I be both at once? And then I remember that I meet myself on the mat, and face, Me. I realize that through the ebb and flow, I am preparing to launch to my next deeper awakening of “Self” and life.